Problems Back Home

I called my Dad for Father's Day and got some upsetting news. My Mom had another "mini-stroke" last week. These are times when she goes totally blank. Can't remember where she has been, what she has been doing. She had gone to the Gynecologist with my daughter and evidently "woke up" not knowing what had happened. She told me she had her doctor's new RX's in her purse and everything, but couldn't remember anything.

I wrote my daughter an email asking for more information. She was there, she could help me to understand what goes on when this happens. Since Mom doesn't want to worry me, she gives only the minimum of info, but I have received no answer, no acknowledgment of my email...nothing. The "freeze" continues.

My brother, having heard that I spoke to Mom and Dad DID send me an email telling me that he thinks this is Mom's reaction to stress. He says my Mom's regular doctor told her to get some psychiatric counseling. My Dad has had some health problems the last few years and she worries about that and one of her sisters with whom she had reconnected after many years died of breast cancer. And, of course....last but NOT LEAST - STRESS caused by ME. Great.

Everything bad that happens in my family from now on will, I suppose, be my fault.

I am very worried. I don't have the money to just fly home and visit and then return. Even if I did, it will mess up my proof of residency that I am establishing so that I can marry my fiance here and then return to America. I want to be closer to my family, things like this just reinforce that desire. I don't think it will matter to my kids, but I know it will to my parents.

So, I worry, feel guilty, and bask in the glow of the hate coming my way from my kids. And how is your day?