February Update

I'm still looking for that elusive job. I have all kinds of applications all over town in Shreveport and Bossier City. I pray that something opens up for me soon. I know the perfect job is out there, I just have to find it.

Things are tough here between my son and my ex. My ex says that my son is not helpful around the house and lies to him about his chores, etc. I want to help. I know it is hard for my ex to be full time mom and dad as well as work in his own business. I take my son on the weekends, but he goes to high school in Shreveport and I can't drive him back and forth on the weekdays and look for a job as well. Gas is anywhere from 2.80 to 3.00 a gallon and I can apply online for many jobs so that saves me a little.

The media is not helping with their gloom and doom reports on the news every night. They seem almost happy when the economic news is of a downturn in the markets or fewer jobs being created. After coming back from Serbia, I want to tell them what bad economic news really is.

I think this is typical of election years in the US. No matter what happens, we will have a new President. George Bush can't run again...he is out. That is the sure thing. The only questions now are which party will be in power in Congress and which party will the President belong to. The markets and employers are nervous, and the media wants to sell papers and advertising time by fanning the flames to make the story better...meaning more gloom and doom.

You know, the truth is, no matter who gets to be President or who runs Congress, the real power in the US is held in the beaucracies and those people are government employees who never leave...can't be fired, don't have to worry about layoffs like regular people. Others come and go, but they remain and they "write" laws through beaucratic policies and regulations, most of which are not subject to review or revision by anyone. The US will go on as it always has, these people have the power and they provide the continuity...for good or bad.

Update

Well, I haven't had any luck finding a good paying job in Longview, so I am now looking in my old hometown of Shreveport, LA.

Longview is such a great little town...friendly people, not a lot of traffic, clean, etc. Problem is, because it is a small town there is only one mall there and not many jobs available in the field I am interested in. Oh well.........

Please,guys, wish me luck! I am so ready to get to work and get my husband here to the US. It is so very hard to have a long distance relationship. I worry all of the time about him and he worries about me. I can't express the sadness, the loneliness and the misery of being away from him. We speak on the phone every few days, and we email constantly, but that is just enough to keep me from going completely nuts.

The only good in this is that I see my son now almost every weekend. He is my bright spot.

Greetings From Longview Texas

I am in Longview, TX now. I have been here for about 2 weeks. I am living with my parents...starting over. My husband is still in Novi Sad. We are waiting for papers from a former student of his who will co-sponsor him with me. I am also trying to find a job so that I can sponsor him.

I bought a little car and will be looking for an apartment for us soon. Everyone here has been very friendly and very helpful, so I feel good about making this our home.

It is nice to be close to my son. We have had two very nice weekend visits so far. He was at the airport to meet me, which was a surprise.

I spoke to my daughter, but have not seen her.

I miss my husband and my friends in Novi Sad. This is very hard. On the one hand, I know we can be happy in America. On the other hand, this is a slow process and I miss my husband terribly. I would not recommend to newlyweds that they be alone during the holidays.


I'm not sure what I will be doing for Christmas Eve. My parents will probably go to my ex's house to see my kids. I'm not invited. I may go to the local church here for Midnight Mass...I'm not sure. I know I will spend Christmas day with my parents, so that will be nice. My son will probably come spend a few days with me after Christmas.

Heading Home

This weekend I will be returning to American to get a job and an apartment and wait for my husband's visa to come through so he can join me.

There is something about this time of the year. Last year, I returned to America for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Hopefully, next year my husband and I will be together for Christmas. It is going to be hard to be without him.

I expect that this will be a challenge. I am going to live with my parents for a time. Just until I get a job, a little car, and an apartment. I plan to live in the Longview,Texas area.

Longview is a beautiful little town with plenty of retail stores where I can find work in management. When my husband comes, he should be able to find work as well.
We're also talking about opening a Martial Arts school.

We want to live and work in America and save money for our eventual retirement. We can't do that here. We hope to eventually return to the Novi Sad area. I would personally love to live in Čelarevo.

The political situation here continues to worsen. I haven't talked much about it because I frankly don't feel qualified to. I don't understand it. My American heart and soul rebells against what I hear and see on the news on a daily basis. It is incomprehensible to me how people can remain as leaders when they don't have the confidence and support of the people they are supposed to serve. Probably since they don't have to fear the ballot box, they can do as they please.

I love the people of this area, I only wish they had the opportunities and the life that they deserve. I'm sure some would say that I am being unfair, judgmental or imposing my "American ideals", but I have spoken to many people since I have come here and this is the impression they give me.

I appreciate the cyber-friends I have made since beginning this blog. When I get internet access, I will continue to update the blog with news. I will keep reading your blogs and hope that you read mine for as long as it interests you...

Please, wish us luck and if you pray, please pray for us.

St. Luke Slava

On Oct. 31, my new husband and I went to my Kum's house to celebrate his Patron Saint St. Luke's slava.

The slava is a Serbian Orthodox tradition. The family celebrates their Patron Saint every year. Each family has their own Patron Saint, taken from the father. A married woman will take the slava of her husband. This tradition has been called the heart of Serbia - it is specific to the country.

Everyone brings a gift. Usually, it is wine or liquor for the host and flowers for his wife. Flowers here are truly beautiful...huge blooms and wonderfully scented.

The family will invite their closest friends and relatives to this party and they feast on traditional dishes. The ceremony begins with the lighting of the slava candle and a prayer. The most important of the foods served are "slavski kolač"-"the slava cake" a yeasty bread that is served by bringing it to the table whole and then tearing it into pieces by hand and Koljivo (also called žito) which is made of boiled wheat flavored with ground walnuts, nutmeg and honey. The Koljivo is served in a bowl which is taken around to the guests on a tray with a small spoon for each guest. You make the sign of the cross and take one little spoonful of the Koljivo. You put your used spoon in a glass of water on the tray. Each guest is approached one at a time. Red wine and rakija (homemade brandy) are served to drink. Red wine symbolizing the blood of Christ.

At this particular slava, we ate sarma (minced meat, rice and spices in cabbage rolls) and a freshly roasted pig. The host's Kum was presented with the pigs head as a token of the respect he has for her:


The pigs head is considered a delicacy and is reserved for the guest of highest honor.

My Kum is not a particularly religious man, so there was no priest at this gathering. From what I understand, many people do have a priest conduct the service at their slava. My Kum's daughter lead the prayers and read from the Bible.

After these ceremonies were completed, it was time to eat, drink and be merry. Music is an important part of the Serbian culture. People here love to laugh and sing. There was even dancing in this small room with 12 guests!

When I was watching all of the goings on, I couldn't help but think of how similar it was to celebrations I've been to in Louisiana...particularly South Louisiana. When I lived in Shreveport, I often visited friends in Abbeville, New Orleans, etc. and good food, laughter, music and dancing are an integral part of those celebrations as well.
Of course, in Louisiana, we feast on crawfish and beer and dance to the Zydeco music of Clifton Chenier!

And the closeness of the family unit is also a part of both of these cultures. My Kum's son lives in Austria, but he made sure to call during the celebration to wish his father well and to send his regards to the guests.

All Souls/All Saints

This past Saturday we went to a large cemetery here in Novi Sad to visit my husband's parent's graves. This was in the midst of the All Souls/All Saints days celebrated by the Catholic and Orthodox communities.

I've never seen so many people at a cemetery in my life. There were cars parked on both sides of the main road as well as the side roads all around the cemetery. People made their own parking lots in the nearby fields.

Police were there to help with traffic flow around all of this.

In front of the cemetery gates, there are always people selling fresh flowers and candles. The flowers are gorgeous and the blooms are huge. This must be the best time of the year for the vendors....EVERYONE was handing over dinars.

We've been to the cemetery before. My husband regularly visits his parent's graves. From what I gather this is common here. I think it is very nice that the dead are not forgotten. In America, my deceased family members were buried far from where I was living, so visiting graves wasn't possible.

Inside the gates, there were people everywhere. On this particular holiday, people come and bring some food and drink to leave at the gravesites. I saw apples, loaves of bread, small cakes, etc. Some graves had only one or two mourners, others had large groups of people - whole families, I suppose.

We did what many people were doing: cleaning the gravestone, discarding dead flowers and replacing them with new ones, lighting candles and paying our respects.

There were some Roma kids in the cemetery, begging for money at the gates and riding their bikes among the gravesites. People here tell me that on this day, after people leave, they take the food that is left at the graves. If so, I guess it doesn't go to waste.

When people told me this, they weren't angry. It was more in the way of an accepted fact.

You may now refer to me as Mrs. I....

The day of our wedding was cold and rainy.

I was cleaning the apartment when his family arrived (30 minutes early!). My fiance was out taking the food to the place where the reception was being held, so I was alone. I got them all settled (not easy, since my Serbian is weak and their English is pretty much non-existent) and went ahead and changed into my "wedding clothes". I don't have any fancy things here so I just wore a black skirt and a white blouse. He wore his tux, but no tie, which was fine by me. I thought he looked very handsome.

They all had some drinks and then we went to the Novi Sad City Hall to be married. When we arrived, there were Roma out on the streets playing music on their instruments, attempting to drum up business. That's fine. But, there were also many of them out begging for money from everyone. They would come right up next to us, interrupting our conversations, and being quite obnoxious. After the wedding, when we were leaving, they practically followed us into the cars!

The place where the weddings are held is nice. It's a long hall with a red carpet on the floor and a large desk at the head where the Justice of the Peace (we would call it that in LA) and our translator stood. I had to have a translator, since I am American.

Our Kums and friends and family all marched up to the desk with us when the strains of the "Wedding March" began. Then we stood and the service began. The JP wore a sash in the colors of the Serbian flag and she performed the ceremony very nicely. Our translator gave me a copy of the ceremony in both Serbian and English. The whole thing took about 10 minutes.

Afterwards, we posed for pictures and then I threw the wedding bouquet. There were only two single women there. Here's a pictures of me and the woman who caught it:


I am very happy that Donna caught the bouquet. She is my husband's Kum's girlfriend and has always been very kind to me. She does my hair for me and when we travel for Martial Arts events, she always comes with us. She's a lot of fun.

Our reception was held at a friend's bar. It was a typical celebration for this part of the world with lots of drink, food, and singing. Later that evening, after we came home, my husband's friends from work came over for more food and drink.

The whole experience was very low key and comfortable. I've never been to a wedding performed by a Justice of the Peace in America, so I don't know if it would be the same. Since we are both older (I won't say mature) and this is not a first marriage for either of us, I think it was just perfect. The most important thing is that our friends and his family were there.