St. Luke Slava

On Oct. 31, my new husband and I went to my Kum's house to celebrate his Patron Saint St. Luke's slava.

The slava is a Serbian Orthodox tradition. The family celebrates their Patron Saint every year. Each family has their own Patron Saint, taken from the father. A married woman will take the slava of her husband. This tradition has been called the heart of Serbia - it is specific to the country.

Everyone brings a gift. Usually, it is wine or liquor for the host and flowers for his wife. Flowers here are truly beautiful...huge blooms and wonderfully scented.

The family will invite their closest friends and relatives to this party and they feast on traditional dishes. The ceremony begins with the lighting of the slava candle and a prayer. The most important of the foods served are "slavski kolač"-"the slava cake" a yeasty bread that is served by bringing it to the table whole and then tearing it into pieces by hand and Koljivo (also called žito) which is made of boiled wheat flavored with ground walnuts, nutmeg and honey. The Koljivo is served in a bowl which is taken around to the guests on a tray with a small spoon for each guest. You make the sign of the cross and take one little spoonful of the Koljivo. You put your used spoon in a glass of water on the tray. Each guest is approached one at a time. Red wine and rakija (homemade brandy) are served to drink. Red wine symbolizing the blood of Christ.

At this particular slava, we ate sarma (minced meat, rice and spices in cabbage rolls) and a freshly roasted pig. The host's Kum was presented with the pigs head as a token of the respect he has for her:


The pigs head is considered a delicacy and is reserved for the guest of highest honor.

My Kum is not a particularly religious man, so there was no priest at this gathering. From what I understand, many people do have a priest conduct the service at their slava. My Kum's daughter lead the prayers and read from the Bible.

After these ceremonies were completed, it was time to eat, drink and be merry. Music is an important part of the Serbian culture. People here love to laugh and sing. There was even dancing in this small room with 12 guests!

When I was watching all of the goings on, I couldn't help but think of how similar it was to celebrations I've been to in Louisiana...particularly South Louisiana. When I lived in Shreveport, I often visited friends in Abbeville, New Orleans, etc. and good food, laughter, music and dancing are an integral part of those celebrations as well.
Of course, in Louisiana, we feast on crawfish and beer and dance to the Zydeco music of Clifton Chenier!

And the closeness of the family unit is also a part of both of these cultures. My Kum's son lives in Austria, but he made sure to call during the celebration to wish his father well and to send his regards to the guests.

You may now refer to me as Mrs. I....

The day of our wedding was cold and rainy.

I was cleaning the apartment when his family arrived (30 minutes early!). My fiance was out taking the food to the place where the reception was being held, so I was alone. I got them all settled (not easy, since my Serbian is weak and their English is pretty much non-existent) and went ahead and changed into my "wedding clothes". I don't have any fancy things here so I just wore a black skirt and a white blouse. He wore his tux, but no tie, which was fine by me. I thought he looked very handsome.

They all had some drinks and then we went to the Novi Sad City Hall to be married. When we arrived, there were Roma out on the streets playing music on their instruments, attempting to drum up business. That's fine. But, there were also many of them out begging for money from everyone. They would come right up next to us, interrupting our conversations, and being quite obnoxious. After the wedding, when we were leaving, they practically followed us into the cars!

The place where the weddings are held is nice. It's a long hall with a red carpet on the floor and a large desk at the head where the Justice of the Peace (we would call it that in LA) and our translator stood. I had to have a translator, since I am American.

Our Kums and friends and family all marched up to the desk with us when the strains of the "Wedding March" began. Then we stood and the service began. The JP wore a sash in the colors of the Serbian flag and she performed the ceremony very nicely. Our translator gave me a copy of the ceremony in both Serbian and English. The whole thing took about 10 minutes.

Afterwards, we posed for pictures and then I threw the wedding bouquet. There were only two single women there. Here's a pictures of me and the woman who caught it:


I am very happy that Donna caught the bouquet. She is my husband's Kum's girlfriend and has always been very kind to me. She does my hair for me and when we travel for Martial Arts events, she always comes with us. She's a lot of fun.

Our reception was held at a friend's bar. It was a typical celebration for this part of the world with lots of drink, food, and singing. Later that evening, after we came home, my husband's friends from work came over for more food and drink.

The whole experience was very low key and comfortable. I've never been to a wedding performed by a Justice of the Peace in America, so I don't know if it would be the same. Since we are both older (I won't say mature) and this is not a first marriage for either of us, I think it was just perfect. The most important thing is that our friends and his family were there.

Birthday Celebration Details

As I mentioned in my last post, my love recently celebrated his birthday. Birthdays in Novi Sad are an affair for family and friends just as they were in my home state of Louisiana. The difference? Here birthdays are also for adults.

Back in Louisiana, birthdays were mainly for kids. We take them to McDonald's, or the skating rink, or whatever business caters to kids birthdays with a bunch of their friends. Or, we'd have a party at home with their friends and cake and ice cream. When the kids were small grandparents would come, too.

For adults, usually the husband and wife go out to dinner at a nice restaurant and maybe a movie. If you are dating someone, same thing. If you are a young adult, usually you do have a party with friends.

Here in Novi Sad, my love invited his closest friends and his daughter and her family over and we ate, drank, talked, joked and listened to music. He tends to like the traditional music of Vojvodina and US music from the 50's and 60's. We also listened to some of my CD's. I like all kinds of music, so for his guests we listened to some Trisha Yearwood, Lionel Ritchie, Fleetwood Mac...easy listening. They like their music a little louder than I do, but they speak loudly so they can still hear each other over it!

I have posted before about how when people here are speaking they can get rather loud. If you didn't know better, you would think they were mad at each other. My love told me a story of one time one of his neighbors visited with a mutual friend and after several rakija's they got pretty loud. His son-in-law (who lives in the building) came to the door concerned that they were fighting! He said they all laughed and invited him in to join them.

To me, this is just another example of the zest for life that these people have. It's like everything they do, they do with vigor. It can be overwhelming sometimes, but it is also endearing.

The guests seemed to like my music. I know they are familiar with American music. The whole world is. There are many radio stations here in Novi Sad and I can always find several playing American music, but I like the traditional music as well.

The little roasted pig was a hit. They eat everything here. Nothing is wasted. The pig's tail, ears, etc. were all consumed. The meat was very good, roasted perfectly.

The one major disappointment was my camera. It has been acting up lately and did not cooperate for me to take pictures. I think I had some bad batteries, because it is working now that I have replaced them.