I was reading another person's blog the other day about how some of the people in this part of the world get so loud when they speak to each other that it sounds as if they are arguing, even though they are not. That they have alot of passion in their lives and can get excited and overwrought when they speak.
I am seeing this in my own relationship. Our relationship is still fairly new. I am under some stress because since I left America to come here, my kids are angry and don't speak to me. This is hard, obviously.
And, I am sure that having me here in his small apartment 24/7 is stressful for my love. I know that the economic impact is a factor as well. We are not wealthy. Middle class is what I would say, maybe even lower middle class. I am not working at this time...can't speak the language. But, I am very frugal, happy with whatever we cook, and haven't spent a dinar on myself since I have known him.
Top that off with the fact that his English is self taught and he is still learning and that my Serbian is at the level of a 2 year old...if that good. Sometimes we just don't understand each other. Or, we think we do and boy are we wrong!
My love has lived on his own for a very long time. He is set in his ways. He is very impulsive and seems to have very little empathy for my very real sadness. He thinks I should be strong and tells me that everything will be OK. That may well be, but as a woman, sometimes a good cry is called for. His idea of life is to laugh and joke all of the time. I like laughing, too, but sometimes I can't find anything to laugh about.
When he takes the time to really listen to me, he gives me very good advice and makes me feel much better. It's just that often he'll just say "what is wrong now?" or, "why are you nervous?" Not exactly welcoming conversation starters.
Part of me knows that I need to just deal with my problems on my own and that I need to be strong for him and for me. And I am not the most patient of people. I get upset easily right now as well.
Part of me knows that he says things this way because those are the only words he knows to say and it really is not his fault that they sound harsh to me. I understand from trying to learn Serbian that when I learn a phrase I want to use it and don't really want to learn one that might be a little more fitting or finessed.
Maybe he learned "what is wrong now?" and didn't learn "I love you, baby...tell me what is wrong"... and saying someone is "nervous" seems to be the way they describe being under stress, which I am.
Anyway, when we get into an argument, disagreement, or misunderstanding he can be loud and angry towards me...at least it sounds that way. Maybe this is part of that passion in life stuff. I don't know. He is quick to anger, but also quick to forgive and recover when it is out of his system. I am not saying he would hurt me physically. Not at all. But, the emotional distress I feel is very real.
I have no one that I can talk to about this. Only you, and I don't think there really are any of "you" out there reading this. I am writing this blog for myself today.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
Easter Celebrations
This year both Catholic and Orthodox celebrated Easter on the same day. The way that my love and his family and friends celebrated Easter was very lovely:
We prepared the traditional Easter breakfast meal this year to be eaten at the home of his daughter and her family who live in the same building that we do. Because the shops are closed on Sunday...all of them, evidently..we had to buy everything we would need until Monday. That meant extra bread and bottled water (which we usually buy daily)and anything we would need for the breakfast and lunch on Sunday. This is kind of hard to do when you usually just run out and get things as you need them.
On Saturday night, we cooked (boiled) a beautifully lean smoked ham with some sausages and also some boiled eggs in with this (for added flavor - the eggs that is). I made some American style deviled eggs for them to taste as well. We also boiled some eggs to dye and decorate for his grandchildren...just as we do in America. There was alot of activity that night...many cooking pots going at once, his daughter coming by to bring us some vinegar for the egg dyeing and to look at what my love had bought for the children's Easter...it was fun.
Sunday morning we called friends and family to wish them a Happy Easter and to proclaim "Christ is Risen!". Then, we took all of the food downstairs to his daughter's apartment and ate with them. Bread, salad, the meat, eggs, vino, pivo...food was plentiful and very good. His daughter provided two delicious cakes for desert.
The children had lots of chocolate and candy in their baskets, just like in America. It is now almost a week later and they still have chocolate..hahahha.
The eldest grandson made me a little egg holder at school and presented me with a very pretty egg to save until next year. As long as the egg does not get damaged, it is kept out in the home for "good luck".
After breakfast and a very nice visit (both his daughter and son-in-law speak English), we came back to our apartment to rest and prepare lunch. Our plan was to go back downstairs and eat with them. However, the doorbell began to ring and eventually we had 6 guests arrive! All were family and friends and we sat and laughed and joked and drank a little vino. I didn't think that many people could fit in our little attic apartment space, but they did and it was very nice.
One thing they do here is everyone gets a boiled egg and you tap your egg (top or bottom) against another person's egg (top or bottom)...if yours cracks, you lose and the other person taps the next person's egg...and on it goes. So, here we were, all adults doing this...it was funny.
Everyone left after a few hours and we went on downstairs and ate what we had prepared for lunch and visited a little while. Then we came home and watched a little TV before calling it a day.
Overall, a very relaxing, family oriented day.
We prepared the traditional Easter breakfast meal this year to be eaten at the home of his daughter and her family who live in the same building that we do. Because the shops are closed on Sunday...all of them, evidently..we had to buy everything we would need until Monday. That meant extra bread and bottled water (which we usually buy daily)and anything we would need for the breakfast and lunch on Sunday. This is kind of hard to do when you usually just run out and get things as you need them.
On Saturday night, we cooked (boiled) a beautifully lean smoked ham with some sausages and also some boiled eggs in with this (for added flavor - the eggs that is). I made some American style deviled eggs for them to taste as well. We also boiled some eggs to dye and decorate for his grandchildren...just as we do in America. There was alot of activity that night...many cooking pots going at once, his daughter coming by to bring us some vinegar for the egg dyeing and to look at what my love had bought for the children's Easter...it was fun.
Sunday morning we called friends and family to wish them a Happy Easter and to proclaim "Christ is Risen!". Then, we took all of the food downstairs to his daughter's apartment and ate with them. Bread, salad, the meat, eggs, vino, pivo...food was plentiful and very good. His daughter provided two delicious cakes for desert.
The children had lots of chocolate and candy in their baskets, just like in America. It is now almost a week later and they still have chocolate..hahahha.
The eldest grandson made me a little egg holder at school and presented me with a very pretty egg to save until next year. As long as the egg does not get damaged, it is kept out in the home for "good luck".
After breakfast and a very nice visit (both his daughter and son-in-law speak English), we came back to our apartment to rest and prepare lunch. Our plan was to go back downstairs and eat with them. However, the doorbell began to ring and eventually we had 6 guests arrive! All were family and friends and we sat and laughed and joked and drank a little vino. I didn't think that many people could fit in our little attic apartment space, but they did and it was very nice.
One thing they do here is everyone gets a boiled egg and you tap your egg (top or bottom) against another person's egg (top or bottom)...if yours cracks, you lose and the other person taps the next person's egg...and on it goes. So, here we were, all adults doing this...it was funny.
Everyone left after a few hours and we went on downstairs and ate what we had prepared for lunch and visited a little while. Then we came home and watched a little TV before calling it a day.
Overall, a very relaxing, family oriented day.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Litter - Not Just An American Problem
What struck me the most about the town of Ilok is how clean it is. There was not the ubiquitous litter everywhere. I saw one bottle of soda on the ground next to a school playground. Could have been left that morning before school. It didn't look like it had been there very long. Obviously these people have pride in their town and either don't litter, or employ people to clean it up. In the park I saw many trash receptacles.
I am not trying to be critical , but the litter in the other places I have been to and in Novi Sad is disheartening to me. Along with the endless graffitti, it speaks to me of people who don't feel an ownership in their surroundings. It puzzles me as people are always telling me how proud they are of the clean air, fresh food, etc. Anyway, hopefully, education of the young against littering should eventually help on this. I sure hope so. This area has so much to offer for tourists, but the litter has to be cleaned up and stopped.
I am not trying to be critical , but the litter in the other places I have been to and in Novi Sad is disheartening to me. Along with the endless graffitti, it speaks to me of people who don't feel an ownership in their surroundings. It puzzles me as people are always telling me how proud they are of the clean air, fresh food, etc. Anyway, hopefully, education of the young against littering should eventually help on this. I sure hope so. This area has so much to offer for tourists, but the litter has to be cleaned up and stopped.
Visit to Ilok
Yesterday we took a day trip to Ilok, the nearest village in Croatia.
We caught a 6 am bus over and arrived shortly after 7. We quickly finished the business that brought us there and had several hours before we had to return, so we changed some money in the menjacnica (exchange) so that we could get some coffee, etc.
The man working there was so friendly...I joked that he should be employed by the local tourist bureau. He answered all of our questions...about the town, where to get good coffee, where to catch the return bus to Novi Sad.
We walked a little ways down the block to the coffee bar. We had wonderful expresso for 2 Kuna each. The woman working the bar was also friendly and we passed a comfortable half hour there. Also, the bathroom was so clean. Softest paper I have experienced since coming to Eastern Europe..hahaha.
Also, the bathroom was unisex, which is not uncommon here. You walk in a door marked Toilette and on the left is a stall with a picture for women and on the right is one for men. There is a common sink area. In this particular one, against one wall are urinals...fortunately there were no men in there when I came in. I think I would faint if I walked in and some man was in there urinating! I'm not saying I would be fearful, just shocked! I see where talk of the Equal Rights Amendment - ERA is coming up again in America. This was the old bugaboo when I was growing up..."unisex toilettes would result".
We decided to walk over to a local Vintner and buy some Croatian wine. Wine from Ilok is famous and served in many fine restaurants and even in the court of Queen Elizabeth II. We had purchased wine from this local man in the past.
On the way to his home, we walked up a hill to a little park and explored it. In doing so we found a 13th century fortress with walls covering quite an expanse of area. In the area around it is another park with various monuments and statuary. I took many pictures of the fortress and park, one of which I am posting here.
We also visited the Church of St. Ivan Kapistrano (St. Juan of Capistrano in the US). The Church is undergoing renovation, but the workers allowed us to walk through and look. It was absolutely beautiful. Very ornate with two side altars. The main altar had a reliquary, but I could not get really close to see due to the scaffolding and work being done around it. However, I am posting a photo of it.
When we arrived at the Vintner, he was very welcoming. He took us down into the winery and I took photos. This is a pretty big family business. I saw about 10 vats. It was all very clean. I had my picture taken with him and we promised to return on our next trip to Ilok.
We still had some time, so we slowly walked back to the cafe and had some of the local pivo (beer). There are several from Croatia and we tried Osjecko. It was very good. Crisp and light tasting and not sweet. Some of the beer I have had in this area tastes kind of sweet. I don't particulary like them. The waitress brought us some kikiriki (peanuts) and we just relaxed and enjoyed beer and conversation.
Soon it was time to leave, so we walked out and caught the return bus to Novi Sad. We will definitely return soon and picnic in that park by the fortress.
We caught a 6 am bus over and arrived shortly after 7. We quickly finished the business that brought us there and had several hours before we had to return, so we changed some money in the menjacnica (exchange) so that we could get some coffee, etc.
The man working there was so friendly...I joked that he should be employed by the local tourist bureau. He answered all of our questions...about the town, where to get good coffee, where to catch the return bus to Novi Sad.
We walked a little ways down the block to the coffee bar. We had wonderful expresso for 2 Kuna each. The woman working the bar was also friendly and we passed a comfortable half hour there. Also, the bathroom was so clean. Softest paper I have experienced since coming to Eastern Europe..hahaha.
Also, the bathroom was unisex, which is not uncommon here. You walk in a door marked Toilette and on the left is a stall with a picture for women and on the right is one for men. There is a common sink area. In this particular one, against one wall are urinals...fortunately there were no men in there when I came in. I think I would faint if I walked in and some man was in there urinating! I'm not saying I would be fearful, just shocked! I see where talk of the Equal Rights Amendment - ERA is coming up again in America. This was the old bugaboo when I was growing up..."unisex toilettes would result".
We decided to walk over to a local Vintner and buy some Croatian wine. Wine from Ilok is famous and served in many fine restaurants and even in the court of Queen Elizabeth II. We had purchased wine from this local man in the past.
On the way to his home, we walked up a hill to a little park and explored it. In doing so we found a 13th century fortress with walls covering quite an expanse of area. In the area around it is another park with various monuments and statuary. I took many pictures of the fortress and park, one of which I am posting here.
We also visited the Church of St. Ivan Kapistrano (St. Juan of Capistrano in the US). The Church is undergoing renovation, but the workers allowed us to walk through and look. It was absolutely beautiful. Very ornate with two side altars. The main altar had a reliquary, but I could not get really close to see due to the scaffolding and work being done around it. However, I am posting a photo of it.
When we arrived at the Vintner, he was very welcoming. He took us down into the winery and I took photos. This is a pretty big family business. I saw about 10 vats. It was all very clean. I had my picture taken with him and we promised to return on our next trip to Ilok.
We still had some time, so we slowly walked back to the cafe and had some of the local pivo (beer). There are several from Croatia and we tried Osjecko. It was very good. Crisp and light tasting and not sweet. Some of the beer I have had in this area tastes kind of sweet. I don't particulary like them. The waitress brought us some kikiriki (peanuts) and we just relaxed and enjoyed beer and conversation.
Soon it was time to leave, so we walked out and caught the return bus to Novi Sad. We will definitely return soon and picnic in that park by the fortress.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Sunday at the Flea Market
Yesterday we went to the big flea market here in Novi Sad. It was a beautiful, sunny day and it seemed as if everyone was there. We just hopped on the bus by our apartment, made a quick transfer in the center of town and got off the bus right at the entrance to the flea market.
At this flea market, you can buy everything! Cars, spices, household goods, fresh fruits and vegetables, clothing, shoes, birds, puppies, TV antennas...everything. Many people seemed to be getting ready for fishing...those stands were really busy selling rods and reels, lures, and other supplies.
There is a section where you can buy used things...stuff alot like a US garage sale would have....old books, grandma's old china, etc. It was funny to see all these old LP's from the 70's and 80's. Many of the people I have met here have phonograph record players in their homes, so there is a market for them, I suppose.
When we walked in to the flea market, I could smell the fresh rattan from a vendor who was selling rattan tables and chairs and beautiful baskets. Easter is coming soon and this year the Orthodox holiday and the Catholic holiday are on the same day, so some of the baskets had an Easter basket theme. My friends tell me that children here celebrate Easter much the same as in the US.
We passed an area where food vendors sold sandwiches, coffee and other drinks. There was also grilled food available. Everything smelled very good.
As we left the flea market, an older man played his violin and people dropped a few coins in his empty case. His wife sat nearby and just listened.
As we walked through the market, my companions saw friends and everyone stopped to say "dobar dan" (good day) and to speak for a few minutes before continuing on their way.
It is a great way to spend a Sunday, even if all you do is just "window shop".
At this flea market, you can buy everything! Cars, spices, household goods, fresh fruits and vegetables, clothing, shoes, birds, puppies, TV antennas...everything. Many people seemed to be getting ready for fishing...those stands were really busy selling rods and reels, lures, and other supplies.
There is a section where you can buy used things...stuff alot like a US garage sale would have....old books, grandma's old china, etc. It was funny to see all these old LP's from the 70's and 80's. Many of the people I have met here have phonograph record players in their homes, so there is a market for them, I suppose.
When we walked in to the flea market, I could smell the fresh rattan from a vendor who was selling rattan tables and chairs and beautiful baskets. Easter is coming soon and this year the Orthodox holiday and the Catholic holiday are on the same day, so some of the baskets had an Easter basket theme. My friends tell me that children here celebrate Easter much the same as in the US.
We passed an area where food vendors sold sandwiches, coffee and other drinks. There was also grilled food available. Everything smelled very good.
As we left the flea market, an older man played his violin and people dropped a few coins in his empty case. His wife sat nearby and just listened.
As we walked through the market, my companions saw friends and everyone stopped to say "dobar dan" (good day) and to speak for a few minutes before continuing on their way.
It is a great way to spend a Sunday, even if all you do is just "window shop".
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Ritzy Hotel
Last night we went to visit friends. This couple lives near a very nice hotel, newly renovated into a 5 star facility. It is called the Hotel Park. The woman and I walked over to the hotel so that I could see it.
Wow...just wow. In the midst of this little neighborhood, this hotel stands out like Shangri La. It had a beautiful fountain lit with colored lights on the side we entered. We went into the hotel to check out the fitness center.
I belonged to a very nice fitness center affiliated with a very large hospital in the city that I come from in the US, but it was nothing like this. I have visited casinos in Las Vegas that have beautiful spa facilities, but still, nothing like this. Everything was clean, beautiful and first class. Of course, I'm sure it is beyond the financial resources of most of the people in this area, but there were plenty of young people there, working out, dancing, talking, coming and going.
I can only imagine how nice the rooms are.
Wow...just wow. In the midst of this little neighborhood, this hotel stands out like Shangri La. It had a beautiful fountain lit with colored lights on the side we entered. We went into the hotel to check out the fitness center.
I belonged to a very nice fitness center affiliated with a very large hospital in the city that I come from in the US, but it was nothing like this. I have visited casinos in Las Vegas that have beautiful spa facilities, but still, nothing like this. Everything was clean, beautiful and first class. Of course, I'm sure it is beyond the financial resources of most of the people in this area, but there were plenty of young people there, working out, dancing, talking, coming and going.
I can only imagine how nice the rooms are.
Visit to Montenegro
This past weekend we took a short business trip to Montenegro's capital, Podgorica. Coming in to the city on the train I was excited to see beautiful mountains and little streams running through the countryside. Very beautiful. This photo was taken from the train window.
The train was fairly old, but the sleeping compartment was comfortable. It was tiny, but our party was able to be alone in the room. We had a little pivo (beer) with us to toast the trip and we joked and laughed as people here love to do for a little while before going to sleep. I actually slept a little while on this train, something I have never done on a train in the US.
It was a bright sunny day when we arrived and the air smelled fresh and clean. Our host met us and took us to our small but friendly hotel. Because I am an American, I was treated like royalty by our host. I must admit, it felt very nice to be with people who love and admire America. Most people that I have met in Novi Sad like America, but our host, having visited for a time in New York City and other cities LOVES America.
We sampled the local cuisine at each meal in our hotel and after having cooked at home for practically every meal since I have been here (eating out is too costly), it was nice to let someone else do all the work for a while. The local "black" wine (what red wine is called in Serbia and Montenegro) is very good...smooth and flavorful...not too heavy or sweet. We drank the local water as well as bottled mineral water with no ill effects to my digestion. I'm afraid I can't say the same for the water in some American cities that I have visited!
After several days in Podgorica, we took the train back to Novi Sad. We arrived in early morning and have rested most of this week. The visit was fun and productive, but it's good to be back "home"!
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